


Dogs of the Military

by a_big_apple



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Innuendo, Misinformation, Office Hilarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-26
Updated: 2010-01-26
Packaged: 2018-08-08 21:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7774597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_big_apple/pseuds/a_big_apple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for fma_fic_contest prompt 46: Dogs.  Ed and Al eavesdrop and get a very wrong impression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dogs of the Military

“I can’t believe it.  I mean, I know he gets around the base, but…”

 Ed paused outside the office door, glancing at Alphonse with a questioning look.  Well versed in Ed’s facial expressions, Al shrugged.  They leaned closer to listen.

 “Yeah, I thought Hawkeye had better control over him.  It’s not like her to let something like this happen.”

 “Mustang?” Ed mouthed.  Al nodded.

 “Well, I guess she can’t keep him away from _every_ bitch in heat around this place.”

 Al’s glowing eyes glowed suddenly brighter; Ed interpreted this as a scandalized expression and scowled, making a mental note to chew Breda out later.

 “She’s got him well trained, but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna go chasin’ tail.”

 Al was looking significantly more uncomfortable now; Ed’s scowl deepened.

 “But still, to get one _pregnant_ …”

 “He WHAT?”  Ed burst through the door, Al tumbling in behind him with a clatter.

 Havoc swiveled in his chair to regard them, smirking.  “Yep.  He’s lucky it was just one of the secretaries’ dogs.  Some yappy fluffy white thing.”

 All the color drained from Ed’s face.  “One of the secretaries’… _dogs_?”

 Behind him, Alphonse sank heavily into a chair.  “How is that even…”

 “I said from the beginning Hawkeye ought to get that little monster fixed,” Breda spat; Feury frowned at him.

 “Hayate isn’t a little monster, he’s a perfectly sweet animal.”

 “Hayate?” Ed murmured.  He and Al glanced at each other again.  “Oh.”

 “Why, who did you think we were talking about?”


End file.
